Thunder echoes outside the window pane.
The world drowning in sleeting rain.
I sit by the fire contemplating my life.
One full of agony, despair, and strife.
The memories of days gone bye
a movie that plays in my mind's eye.
Her beautiful face appears before me.
I turn in shame, I cannot face thee.
Mother Mary full of grace,
As she fights death's cold embrace.
In agony she takes her final breath.
Sweet release she crosses into death.
Shameful memory rising.
A sin of my own undertaking .
That sin doubles and doubles
Until all I have built is a mound of rubble.
Death after death so discrete
A pile of corpses under my very own feet.
A year ago this very day.
A year ago stolen away.
My own hand the culprit of deceit.
I still see her falling below to the street.
Fire raging in my hearth,
A stain I left upon this earth.
Suffering is all I ever bring.
Pain consumes my darkened reign.
I wait in agony for my mind to decompose.
I beg forgiveness, Lord help my poor soul.
The pain of her memory leaves me yearning.
Like the log in a fire, my soul is burning.
In the echo of shadows I hear her call my name.
My heart bursts like a roaring flame.
Her voice incites pure dread,
I can’t get her voice out of my head.
“Come to me, my love.” She repeats.
All the while the rain still sleets.
“forgive me, I beg” into the darkness.
Her voice comes with an edge of sharpness.
"It was an accident” I try to justify,
“I never meant any harm” a bold lie.
In my heart I wanted her to die.
In her death, I believed me free.
In her death, I am chained for eternity.
Chains made of grief, sorrow, and guilt.
Made in the forge of hate that I had built.
Dear God let her punishment be no more,
Smite me dead upon this very floor.
On my knees I beg of thee.
Break my Chains and set me free.
I confess, I took her life.
It was I who killed my beloved wife.
A deadly accident I did say.
One I set up that cold, dark day.
Weakened bolts on a balcony high.
I admit my guilt as the rain begins to die.
I sit upon a midnight clear,
Guilt glaring back at me from the mirror.
My sin I can no longer hide,
The role I played in the way she died.
The fire dies as darkness fills the room.
I feel the icy touch of doom.
I feel her presence all around me.
"Off to hell,” she whispers softly.
I hear her as I lay dying.
I hear her laughing, laughing, laughing.