Clarence

By David Vorhees He sat in silence. His only thought was about her. She had left him weeks ago; said she had met someone else, that she was sorry. He didn’t care, never really cared much for anyways. To tell the truth he preferred it this way, but he never let anyone know that. Especially not her. This is what he was use to, this was his normal. He grew up in a single parent family and that single parent was always at work leaving him by himself all night, every night. He had friends but when the sun went down, they had to go home and so did he. The difference between them was he went home to a quiet and empty house while his friends went home to their mom’s, dads, and siblings. He never resented his mom for being gone so much, he knew she had to work to buy the food and pay for clothes and the house, plus he liked the solitude. He could watch what he wanted and turn it up real loud. He could eat in front of the TV and bedtime was more of a guideline than a hard fastened rule. He just had to make sure to clean up any messes he made before he did go to bed. He wasn’t always by himself, he had toys that he played with and he had one particular toy that kept him company, Clarence. Clarence was a clown. He had a blue clown suit and a painted face with blue curly hair made of yarn. He couldn’t remember where his mom got Clarence or even when, he just showed up one day. He loved Clarence and they had all sort of adventure together. After she had left for the last time, he went into attic to grab a few things he put up there when she moved in. A lamp she hated, a Bernie Kosar starting line up figure along with a ton of other Cleveland Browns memorabilia he had tucked away. She wasn’t a sports fan and hated football so he put his football stuff in the attic to make her happy, but now she was gone and now he was happy to bring his stuff out of the dark again. Never again he thought to himself, never again will he change himself for someone else. “Hey buddy” he heard a voice say coming from the far corner in the attic. He looked up and stared but saw only a dark area. “Hey buddy, can I come to?” the voice sounded familiar, it sounded like a child. “Whose there?” he asked the darkness. “You forget your old pal Clarence already?” the voice said with a surprised squeak. No, he hadn’t forgot about Clarence but could have sworn he had gotten rid of that old doll ages ago. Now he got up, slowly, and cautiously crept towards the dark corner of the attic. “Clarence?” he said tentatively. He pulled out his phone, clicked on the flashlight, and pointed towards the corner. There in the glow of the tiny LED light lay a clown doll with blue yarn for hair and a blue clown suit. He stumbled back and almost fell. The phone dropped from his hand making the corner dark again. “C’mon pal. It’s ok. We’re best buds.” Clarence said. He got his balance back and picked up his phone and shined the light on the doll again hoping he just imagined the doll. It was still there, his suit was dusty and dirty, and his hair full of cobwebs but it was him, it was Clarence. “Hey let’s go downstairs.” Clarence said and that’s how he thought it now. He realized that he had already accepted that the voice he was hearing belonged to Clarence, that it always had. He recognized the voice because that was Clarence’s voice when they played back when he was a kid. But Clarence was a doll and not real, wasn’t he? He reached over and picked up the clown doll and stared at it. “Well, we going to go play?” Clarence asked and he noticed asked this without moving his lips. Of course, he didn’t move his lips, his whole head is preformed plastic, he thought to himself. “Sure, let’s go.” He said to the doll. As he descended the stairs, he dusted the doll off. When he got down to the main floor, he walked into the living room and sat Clarence down on the couch, sat in the chair across the from the couch and just stared at him. “What would you like to play?” Clarence asked. “We can play G.I. Joes. oh, how we use to love that”. “I don’t own any G.I Joes anymore.” He said, “I quit playing with toys a long time ago.” “That’s too bad. We had use to have all kinds of fun.” Clarence said. “Do you still play games?” “Uh, yeah. Sometimes I guess.” He said. “GREAT! Let’s play hide and seek, you hide first and I will count to 10.” Clarence “No, I, no. I am too old for hide and seek.” He said. There was a knock at the door and he jumped. He got up and headed towards the door. It was her; she had come back. “Hey, sorry to bother you, but I think I forgot my box of contacts the other day. Do you mind if I get them really quick? She said after he opened the door. “Yeah, no problem.” He said and stood aside allowing her to enter. “Were you talking with someone? I mean is someone here?” She asked. “No, nobody is here.” He said but then he wondered if that was a lie. He was here and so was Clarence. Oh crap Clarence, he thought. He had forgotten all about Clarence. “Oh, I could have sworn I heard voices as I walked up to the door.” She looked around and saw the tv was off. “Were you watching TV, maybe?” trying to make sense of what she heard. “No. I, uh, I just came down from the attic.” He said. “The attic?” She asked sounding puzzled. “Yeah, I was just getting some stuff from that I had stored up there and I found…” he trailed off not sure how to proceed. He had never lied to her but he didn’t know if he should tell her, how much of it, or if it was her business anymore anyways. “Found what?” she asked now sounding a little concerned. “Do you remember Clarence?” he asked. “What, that creepy old clown doll? Yeah, I remember it. Why?” she asked. “Well, because I found him up there. I had thought I gotten rid of him but there he is.” He said pointing to the clown doll sitting in the center of the couch. “Where? I don’t see anything.” She said. He looked at her like she was blind, pointed to the center of the couch, turned his head and was ready to say again that he was right there but he wasn’t. Clarence was gone. He walked over to the couch and began to look all around it, he even ripped the cushions off the couch. “Hey, hey what’s going on?” she asked worried now. “He was here, right here. I swear it.” He said. “I just saw him sitting right here. Didn’t you see him when you walked in?” “No, there was nothing there. I would have seen it if something was there.” He sat down and began to go over why had happened. He had remembered Clarence from when he was a kid and then he saw him, but did he? As he looked back, he wasn’t sure Clarence was ever really there. He remembered the dark corner and how he found Clarence laying there, but now he sees an empty space. He sees it all clearly now, Clarence was never here, he was alone… always.